Today was not the best of days, for multiple reasons. I am trying to remain upbeat, I am trying..well...not to cry. OK, so I failed at that one earlier today, tears of frustration won over.
First of all, feeling this lousy has not helped, and I don't have my usual fight in me...although I think the audiologist from the school district might beg to differ on that one. As of 6:00 PM I am now on steroids, antibiotics, and 3 other meds for this asthma gone nuclear. The MD said he didn't know how I was still walking around, and though it wasn't presenting as pnueomonia...yet...he would lay odds that within the next 24 hours it would be. It has been about 6 weeks or so getting progressively worse, and as I look in the mirror at the bags under my eyes, they pretty much tell the story of how exhausted I am. So, no preaching in Silverton, no swimming in Delta, no youth group meeting. Nothing but bed and Netflix for the next several days.
Bright spots? Someone delivered flowers anonymously yesterday which was lovely and has me wondering "Hmmm...who?". The kids are doing laundry. My hubby went back to Walmart when they messed up the presecriptions so I could rest. My knee is gradually getting a little better, even if it will take weeks to feel back to normal. Josh didn't have a nightmare last night again.
On to the most frustrating, anger inducing, circular situation I have ever been involved in...other than the time when we bought a small boat years ago from a widow and the Department of Motor Vehicles insisted I get the signature of her deceased husband. They finally gave up when I asked in a raised voice loud enough for all to hear "OK...so you want me to exhume his body to get his signature??" ...but I digress...
I heard back from the audiologist at the school district. They declined to test Kenny. Why? Oh, not because they don't think he may indeed have auditory processing disorder. No, that would make way too much sense.
They declined because he is not a native English speaker, and because his IQ is 3 points too low.
Yea. You read that right, although I know no one here will react with the same feeling of being absurdly pushed aside as I did. I was told that EVERY non native speaker has what is essentially an auditory processing disorder, and was even kindly given an example of how a Japanese person will forever say "Flied Lice" instead of Fried Rice. I kid you not, that was the very words used. Because Kenny is a non-native speaker and can't be tested in his native Russian, his results will NEVER be considered valid. Oh yea, and once again they basically told me my kid is too stupid and that would effect his results as well.
Can you see why I cried? This is so darned circular that I can't even give voice to it. We can't get him tested because he didn't speak English as an infant, and his IQ tests are low. His IQ tests are low because he can't take verbal directions well or remember them. His English skills will only go so far because he can't process what he hears correctly. But we can't get him tested because...yada...yada...yada.
They also have no idea what is wrong with him. They give us no clue, and no offer of additional testing or special services help. Oh yea, they'll mail me a little info.
Dominick and I sat up talking about this as I hacked and wheezed with my knee elevated. What a picture. What do we do now? The school route is out. I don't know how we can afford testing on our own, it is in the thousands of dollars, and then it may only confirm what we already suspect...but we also know it is not the only thing going on. I have to learn HOW to teach him, and I need to know if indeed I am barking up the right tree or way off base. Notice, however, that the audiologist never said throughout our lengthy conversation that Kenny likely did not have ADP based upon my preliminary answers on the initial eval, only that they would not test for it.
By the way, Chris J, my Colorado friend, can you email me directly about the Able Kids Foundation you recommended? I did speak with them today, but have some questions and wanted to chat a little about it.
I guess I am going to once again self-educate and see what I can learn over the next few weeks about APD. There are two schools of thought, it appears. One is that you manage and come up with coping strategies, and another is that there are ways to find work arounds in the brain and re-wire. So far we have not seen much luck in that end, and both the audiologist I spoke with today and the Foundation mentioned above think along the "coping strategies" line and have little faith in any remedial efforts for long term success.
But what else am I missing? This is not the entire puzzle, only a piece of it. How much money do we spend in pursuit of possible answers? How much will be wasted because we don't have anyone knowledgable enough to steer us? Why do we parents have to go this alone, and not receive the services our tax dollars pay for?
Bright sides? Kenny is worth fighting for. Kenny IS very intelligent, even if on paper he doesn't look it. I am dogged in my pursuit for help for our kids. I don't have ALL our kids with these issues. I am smart enough to do a lot of research on my own, even if time is hard to find. I am working with him everyday and that has made me an expert on Kenny LaJoy which helps eliminate some things quickly. We ARE making a difference for him academically and he is light years ahead of where he was a year ago even if he is not at all where we wish he were for his age.
I know I am so beat up right now that I am not my normal self, and that makes it all worse. I am going to mull it all over, make more calls in the next couple of weeks, do some research and see what I can come up with. Since I will be laid up the next few days I can research online and see what else I can come up with.
And then, I will trust God will supply us with direction. What else do I have at this point? And the truth is, sometimes it takes getting to this point where you are so low that you finally hear God's leading anyway. So...I have officially arrived at the bottom, God, can you lift me up a bit? Can you help me keep my anger in check?
Can you help me help my son?
First of all, feeling this lousy has not helped, and I don't have my usual fight in me...although I think the audiologist from the school district might beg to differ on that one. As of 6:00 PM I am now on steroids, antibiotics, and 3 other meds for this asthma gone nuclear. The MD said he didn't know how I was still walking around, and though it wasn't presenting as pnueomonia...yet...he would lay odds that within the next 24 hours it would be. It has been about 6 weeks or so getting progressively worse, and as I look in the mirror at the bags under my eyes, they pretty much tell the story of how exhausted I am. So, no preaching in Silverton, no swimming in Delta, no youth group meeting. Nothing but bed and Netflix for the next several days.
Bright spots? Someone delivered flowers anonymously yesterday which was lovely and has me wondering "Hmmm...who?". The kids are doing laundry. My hubby went back to Walmart when they messed up the presecriptions so I could rest. My knee is gradually getting a little better, even if it will take weeks to feel back to normal. Josh didn't have a nightmare last night again.
On to the most frustrating, anger inducing, circular situation I have ever been involved in...other than the time when we bought a small boat years ago from a widow and the Department of Motor Vehicles insisted I get the signature of her deceased husband. They finally gave up when I asked in a raised voice loud enough for all to hear "OK...so you want me to exhume his body to get his signature??" ...but I digress...
I heard back from the audiologist at the school district. They declined to test Kenny. Why? Oh, not because they don't think he may indeed have auditory processing disorder. No, that would make way too much sense.
They declined because he is not a native English speaker, and because his IQ is 3 points too low.
Yea. You read that right, although I know no one here will react with the same feeling of being absurdly pushed aside as I did. I was told that EVERY non native speaker has what is essentially an auditory processing disorder, and was even kindly given an example of how a Japanese person will forever say "Flied Lice" instead of Fried Rice. I kid you not, that was the very words used. Because Kenny is a non-native speaker and can't be tested in his native Russian, his results will NEVER be considered valid. Oh yea, and once again they basically told me my kid is too stupid and that would effect his results as well.
Can you see why I cried? This is so darned circular that I can't even give voice to it. We can't get him tested because he didn't speak English as an infant, and his IQ tests are low. His IQ tests are low because he can't take verbal directions well or remember them. His English skills will only go so far because he can't process what he hears correctly. But we can't get him tested because...yada...yada...yada.
They also have no idea what is wrong with him. They give us no clue, and no offer of additional testing or special services help. Oh yea, they'll mail me a little info.
Dominick and I sat up talking about this as I hacked and wheezed with my knee elevated. What a picture. What do we do now? The school route is out. I don't know how we can afford testing on our own, it is in the thousands of dollars, and then it may only confirm what we already suspect...but we also know it is not the only thing going on. I have to learn HOW to teach him, and I need to know if indeed I am barking up the right tree or way off base. Notice, however, that the audiologist never said throughout our lengthy conversation that Kenny likely did not have ADP based upon my preliminary answers on the initial eval, only that they would not test for it.
By the way, Chris J, my Colorado friend, can you email me directly about the Able Kids Foundation you recommended? I did speak with them today, but have some questions and wanted to chat a little about it.
I guess I am going to once again self-educate and see what I can learn over the next few weeks about APD. There are two schools of thought, it appears. One is that you manage and come up with coping strategies, and another is that there are ways to find work arounds in the brain and re-wire. So far we have not seen much luck in that end, and both the audiologist I spoke with today and the Foundation mentioned above think along the "coping strategies" line and have little faith in any remedial efforts for long term success.
But what else am I missing? This is not the entire puzzle, only a piece of it. How much money do we spend in pursuit of possible answers? How much will be wasted because we don't have anyone knowledgable enough to steer us? Why do we parents have to go this alone, and not receive the services our tax dollars pay for?
Bright sides? Kenny is worth fighting for. Kenny IS very intelligent, even if on paper he doesn't look it. I am dogged in my pursuit for help for our kids. I don't have ALL our kids with these issues. I am smart enough to do a lot of research on my own, even if time is hard to find. I am working with him everyday and that has made me an expert on Kenny LaJoy which helps eliminate some things quickly. We ARE making a difference for him academically and he is light years ahead of where he was a year ago even if he is not at all where we wish he were for his age.
I know I am so beat up right now that I am not my normal self, and that makes it all worse. I am going to mull it all over, make more calls in the next couple of weeks, do some research and see what I can come up with. Since I will be laid up the next few days I can research online and see what else I can come up with.
And then, I will trust God will supply us with direction. What else do I have at this point? And the truth is, sometimes it takes getting to this point where you are so low that you finally hear God's leading anyway. So...I have officially arrived at the bottom, God, can you lift me up a bit? Can you help me keep my anger in check?
Can you help me help my son?
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